The Healing Power of Female Friendships – Insights from the IE Student Well-Being Survey

By Dr. Silvia Centeno

More than just good company: why female friendship is essential for wellbeing

We often hear that relationships are important, but what if they were essential for your mental and physical health? Research suggests that women, in particular, benefit profoundly from social bonds, especially when dealing with stress.

Recent findings from the IE Student Wellbeing Survey revealed that women at IE report higher levels of stress, more self-critical inner dialogue, and a stronger emotional burden compared to men. However, the survey also highlights a powerful antidote: social support and friendships play a crucial role in reducing stress and enhancing wellbeing .

Research suggests that friendship is not just a source of joy, but a biological necessity for women’s health and ignoring it could have serious consequences.

how women respond to stress: "tend and befriend" vs. "fight or flight"

Traditionally, stress research focused on the fight-or-flight response, suggesting that under pressure, humans either confront a threat or escape it. However, a study by Shelley Taylor and Laura Cousino Klein (UCLA, 2000) introduced an alternative model: “Tend and Befriend”, which is particularly relevant for women .

This model suggests that instead of responding to stress with aggression or avoidance, women seek social support and build strong connections as a protective mechanism. This behavior is biologically reinforced by oxytocin, the hormone linked to bonding and trust. When women engage in meaningful social interactions, oxytocin helps reduce cortisol (the stress hormone), promoting calmness and emotional regulation (Taylor et al., 2000) .

In contrast, men’s stress response is more influenced by testosterone, which suppresses the calming effects of oxytocin, making them more likely to either retreat into isolation or engage in riskier behaviors .

chronic stress, autoimmune diseases, and emotional supression

While stress affects both men and women, women are disproportionately affected by chronic stress-related illnesses, including autoimmune diseases. According to Dr. Gabor Maté, a leading expert on the mind-body connection, unprocessed emotional pain and chronic self-suppression are major contributors to the development of autoimmune conditions (Maté, 2003).

Maté identifies common personality traits in individuals with autoimmune diseases:

•            People-pleasing tendencies

•            Difficulty expressing anger

•            A deep sense of responsibility for others’ well-being

•            Chronic self-sacrifice at the expense of personal health

These traits, often socialized in women from a young age, lead to chronic activation of the stress response, which in turn dysregulates the immune system. Over time, this can contribute to illnesses such as rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, multiple sclerosis, and fibromyalgia (Maté, 2003) .

what the ie student well-being survey reveals about female stress and social report

The IE Student Wellbeing Survey provides valuable insights into these gender differences. Key findings include:

•  Higher stress levels in women: Female students reported significantly higher stress related to their studies than their male counterparts (3.47 vs. 3.10 on a 6-point scale) .

• More negative self-talk: Women exhibited lower self-compassion scores, meaning they are harder on themselves when facing challenges, a pattern that has been observed in broader psychological research (Neff, 2003).

• Greater feelings of loneliness: Despite having strong social networks, women reported feeling left out and isolated more frequently than men, a phenomenon also noted in studies on female mental health in high-performance environments (Cacioppo et al., 2015) .

• Stronger reliance on social support: Women showed higher comfort in turning to friends for support, reinforcing the idea that social connection is a crucial coping mechanism .

why female friendships are a powerful well-being tool

If chronic stress and emotional suppression contribute to illness, then social connection can be part of the cure. Multiple studies confirm that women who maintain strong friendships experience significant health benefits:

•  The Harvard Nurses’ Health Study (Kawachi et al., 1999) found that women with strong social networks had lower blood pressure, reduced risk of heart disease, and a 60% lower chance of premature death compared to those who were socially isolated .

•  UCLA research (Taylor et al., 2000) indicates that women who regularly engage with close friends have lower cortisol levels, reducing the harmful effects of chronic stress .

•  A longitudinal study published in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010) found that social isolation increases mortality risk as much as smoking or obesity, reinforcing the importance of maintaining strong friendships .

how to leverage the power of friendship for well-being

Despite the clear benefits, many women struggle to prioritize friendships. Work, family obligations, and the cultural expectation of always “having it together” often push social time to the bottom of the priority list. 

The irony? The very thing that could help women cope—friendship—is often the first thing we sacrifice.

how to leverage the power of friendship for well-being

•  Prioritize Time Together: Schedule social time with your friends as you schedule a work meeting—it’s just as vital for your health (Kawachi et al., 1999) .

•  Make Friendship a Ritual: Weekly check-ins, coffee dates, or even quick voice messages can strengthen social bonds despite busy schedules (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010) .

•  Be Vulnerable and Open: Suppressing emotions is a risk factor for stress-related illness. Sharing personal struggles activates oxytocin, enhancing emotional support and resilience (Taylor et al., 2000; Maté, 2003) .

•  Physical Affection Counts: Studies suggest that hugging a close friend can trigger oxytocin release, providing immediate stress relief (Light et al., 2005) .

final thought: friendship as a form of self-care

Women often think of self-care as exercise, nutrition, or mindfulness, but science suggests that one of the most powerful forms of self-care is simply spending time with trusted friends.

The IE Student Wellbeing Survey confirms that while female students experience higher stress and self-criticism, they also possess a unique tool for resilience: their friendships. The key is to actively nurture these relationships, understanding that they are not just a source of joy, but a scientifically proven path to better health, lower stress, and a longer, happier life.

So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, remember: You don’t have to face it alone. Friendship is medicine for your mind, body and soul.

References 

• Cacioppo, J. T., Cacioppo, S., & Boomsma, D. I. (2015). Evolutionary mechanisms for loneliness. Cognitive Neuroscience, 6(1), 34-39.

• Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health, 64(7), 580-585.

• IE Center for Health & Well-Being. (2024). Student Well-being Report 2023-2024. IE University.   https://www.ie.edu/center-for-health-and-well-being/blog/key-findings-of-the-ie-university-student-well-being-report-2023-20247 

• Kawachi, I., Colditz, G. A., & Ascherio, A. (1999). A prospective study of social networks in relation to total mortality and cardiovascular disease in men and women.   Harvard Nurses’ Health Study.

• Light, K. C., Grewen, K. M., & Amico, J. A. (2005). More frequent partner hugs and higher oxytocin levels are linked to lower blood pressure and heart rate in premenopausal women. Biological Psychology, 69(1), 5-21.

• Maté, G. (2003). When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress. Wiley.

• Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101.

• Taylor, S. E., Klein, L. C., Lewis, B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R. A., & Updegraff, J. A. (2000). Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: Tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight. Psychological Review, 107(3), 411.