The top 12 traits of a good leader

7 min read

A few years ago I got cheated on. Well, I think I did. I never really got to the bottom of things—and I don’t much care to.

Anyway, I moved back in with my parents for a while. The first few weeks were spent playing Tetris on my phone. Gradually I took on bigger tasks. Watching films. Going for walks. Now, I look back on it all quite fondly. The memory has a funny feeling—like being wrapped up in a giant cocoon.

Of the many films, I remember one: The 1990 adaptation of “Lord of the Flies”. It’s old and grainy and the acting is bad. And l was sort of zoned out.

But then they killed Piggy.

Bad times are like trucks—they knock you over sideways. And that’s what happened to me. For those who don’t know the story, a bunch of schoolkids get marooned on an island. Ralph, the good-hearted leader, is overthrown by bad-guy Jack. And the mutinous kids drop a boulder on Piggy’s head. And it broke me. When I read the book as a teenager, I thought it was about original sin or something. But ten years on, it seemed a little different: Ralph’s goodness alone wasn’t enough. He couldn’t understand Jack. He couldn’t keep unity. And he couldn’t save Piggy.

So forget goodness—what are the traits of a good leader?

What is leadership?

What is leadership? And what is a leader meant to do? In practice, a leader is someone who can bring a group of people towards a common goal. They combine influence, motivation and practicality. That’s just as applicable for leaders in business as it is for leaders in politics.

Leaders can be found in all walks of life. Sports teams. Parish councils. Friendship groups. Leaders enable others to accomplish something they couldn’t do on their own. The funny thing is, many great leaders have no formal authority. Being a leader is often a role bestowed on you by others. It’s based on trust.

Great leadership comes down to behavior, not personality. Concrete leadership skills exist—and skills can always be learnt. Was Ralph an innately bad leader because the youngsters deferred to Jack? Nope—Ralph just lacked a leader’s skillset. When we ask what leadership is, we need to understand that it’s an action that you can express. And to control how you express yourself, you need to know who you are.

Direction, alignment and commitment: Nurturing the traits of a good leader

Self-knowledge aside, let’s zoom in on a concrete definition for leadership: Direction, alignment and commitment. These are three outcomes provided by a good leader.

Direction

Direction is a shared agreement on where the group is heading. That includes a desire for set goals and each person accepting their responsibility in getting there. Setting direction is a crucial aspect of leadership because it means articulating purpose—which requires genuine soul-searching.

Alignment

This means providing clarity for the journey on which you’re about to embark. Everyone understands how their role fits with another. Great leadership puts the roadmap in place and provides the oil that keeps the cogs turning.

Commitment

This ultimately comes down to sacrifice. Leaders inspire a collective identity where purpose comes above personal gain. The greatest leaders shift cultures towards enduring outcomes.

What leadership isn’t

It’s easy to get confused about the meaning of leadership. We’re often seduced by shows of popularity, power or organization. While leaders are likely to display these qualities, the qualities alone do not make a leader. As Aristotle states in “Rhetoric”, the product of something should not be confused with the cause.

Here’s the problem: So many define leadership with incentives or fear. Most of the time, that just means you have people following a paycheck. And it certainly doesn’t align with our three aforementioned outcomes. True leadership depends on more than what Simon Sinek calls “manipulations”.

During that time I spent back home, I tried hard to think about where I’d gone wrong. Here’s one conclusion: I lead my relationships. Not because I’m good at it—because I feel I have to. Because if I don’t lead, then why would anyone stick around? And the problem with all this leading is that I have an image of who I should be. And it doesn’t match up with who I am.

So, before we get into the characteristics of good leadership, I want to say something. We’re going to outline 12 traits of a good leader. That’s a lot of stuff to do, right? So you probably won’t get to all of them. But that’s OK, because of all the other stuff you have for free. That is, the things that make you, you.

12 traits of a good leader

1. Good communication

Communication is about more than clear workflows. Teams need to be empowered to communicate—which is often inhibited by the fear of failure. Good leadership often results in bottom-up, top-down and horizontal communication that keeps everybody in the loop.

2. High EQ

The ability to empathize is an essential for good leaders. “Leadership by influence” hinges on the understanding of a team’s emotional needs and knowing how to meet them.

3. The ability to empower

From what we know about the rhetorical triangle, you need a few techniques to persuade people. When you have logos, pathos and egos in balance, you can motivate your team to go above and beyond.

4. Selflessness

Many great leaders are able to put their sense of purpose before their sense of self. This can be a potent force for motivating a team—when you lead by example, others are inspired to throw themselves in at the deep end, regardless of consequences.

5. Listening skills

Someone might be trying to get through to you. If you don’t hear them, and they stop feeling like they can express themselves, then communication breaks down. So be attentive.

6. Curiosity

Nobody is the finished product. Having that curiosity to recognize your weaknesses is a recipe for success. By focusing on self-improvment, you stay ahead of trends and set a good example.

7. Delegation skills

Delegate, delegate, delegate. You can’t shoulder all the burden yourself, which means you need to trust your team. It might not always work out, but putting faith in other people can pay dividends. And people don’t forget that trust.

8. Accountability

Things might not work out. If you can stand up in the face of failure and stay accountable, you’ll earn the respect of those around you—even if fingers get pointed in the short-term.

9. Strategic thinking

Keep searching for ways to innovate and be proactive. This is one of the best traits of a greater leader, as you can plan for opportunities and avoid common pitfalls.

10. A diverse mindset

Great leaders are often role models for their teams. The best leadership skills come from a diverse mindset. Being proactive about equality—be it racial diversity or fostering women’s leadership—wins you trust and helps you connect with people from different backgrounds. And that fresh outlook is often the differentiator in finding success.

11. Reading the room

Not every situation is the same. You should be adaptable to change tack, particularly when it comes to motivating your team. That means having the courage to get serious or the temperance to keep things light.

12. Being clever and good-looking

This might be most important of all. It is, however, dependent on you being clever and/or good-looking.

Where do we find examples of leadership?

Blow the dust off the history books and you’ll find examples of great leadership littered through time. Martin Luther King Jr.’s charisma, influence and nonviolent tactics to inspire the Civil Rights Movement. Nelson Mandela’s 27 years in prison while fighting apartheid in South Africa. Chancellor Merkel and her incredible diplomatic and organizational skills.

But the truth is you don’t have to search all that far. In fact, leaders are everywhere. You just might not be paying attention.

What happens when you pay attention?

Fishing. That’s how I got out of the bad times. Fishing with my dad.

There’s a pond near my hometown. You pay five pounds for an afternoon on the banks and they give you a pint of maggots. It only has a few types of carp, and you have to throw them back in, and it smells like ass.

But it’s quiet. So you can sit and chat.

I suppose the opposite of leading is being lost. And I suppose that if someone makes things clearer for you, even if that means sitting on camper chairs and talking about why you feel the way you do, then you’re being led somewhere better.

See, bad times are like airplanes—they look small from far away. And I do still think back to that time and feel just as confused and angry and ugly. But then I think of fishing with my dad. Or my mum’s occasional, careful hugs.

That’s the great thing about having leaders in your life. You learn to lead by example.